A Lesson Revisited

By: Laura Hechel

I wrote this in my journal in April of 2008...two years ago...and was reminded of it just this morning through a chapter in A Woman After God's Own Heart that has a message about being your husband's helper. At our last meeting, we tossed around ideas for controlling our words and actions around our husband. I light-heartedly call this my "Five Step Program".

April 14, 2008
I am being called to be a Proverbs woman - and that means there is a strong call on my heart to "...speak with wisdom and faithful instruction." (Proverbs 31:26). I am brought back to James 1:26 - a verse that God often brought to me during the Fruit of the Spirit study (note for today: THANKS JEROLYN for leading that study!). "If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless." Worthless. Meaningless. Useless. A facade. A fake. A sham. In chapter 3, James speaks of taming the tongue. It occurred to me that I need to set my standard and devise a plan or I will never tame my tongue! As Paul says in 1 Corinthians 9:25-27 "Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it for a crown that will not last; but we do it for a crown that will last forever. Therefore, I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize." So HOW am I going to tame the tongue?

1. Memorize scripture - especially verses about speech and the tongue. (Ephesians 4:29 & Proverbs 13:3 are good beginnings)
2. PRAY - for forgiveness (1 John 1:9), for wisdom (James 1:5), and for others (Matthew 5:44). Peter talks about being clear-minded & self-controlled so I can pray (1 Peter 4:7)...so, in praying, I must be sure my words and actions are in line with the Spirit or my prayers may fall flat.
3. Distance myself from engaging in gossip & slander. Always. (Proverbs 14:1 & 26:20)
4. Consider my words and the TONE carefully before I speak...and speak only things that build others up. (1 Peter 4:11 & Ephesians 4:29) Side note: verses 25-32 of Ephesians chapter 4 is especially helpful in providing a tangible way for believers to train themselves to follow God's will. To simply resist the temptation to sin is not enough. We must do the exact opposite of our sin. If you lie, speak truth. If you steal, work for what you want. If you slander, speak only good things about others from now on.
5. Write letters to God when I am really upset, rather than slandering that person to someone else or ripping them apart in a verbal confrontation. Use the formula David often uses in the psalms...pour out my heart, my hurts, my trials and tribulations...then change focus and end the letter with God's truth, His faithfulness, and His instruction.

Fast forward to today. Honestly, there is a reason I was reminded of this entry today...for the last year, I have become lazy about controlling my tongue. I have reverted back to my obnoxious days, almost all of it now directed entirely at my husband. Today, I am reminded of two things I had lost sight of: I am forgiven, therefore, I must forgive others (Matthew 6:14-15). If I claim to love my husband, I should live it. "...Love is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs....It always protects..." (1 Corinthians 13:5&7).