Love and Humility, Part 1

by Jerolyn

The FAM1 was talking a lot about humility this last weekend. In light of it being 40 Days of Love, I've chosen to share a few posts on Romans 12:9-16. Go figure, I just "happened" to be there in my personal reading and God stopped me dead in my tracks. So I'm just going to go phrase by phrase. Please weigh in on your thoughts.

Love must be sincere. Romans 12:9a

The New American Standard says, "without hypocrisy." The Greek translates it as a love that must be "unfeigned, undisguised." When I see the word "hypocrisy," I instantly think about the Pharisees and Jesus' diatribe against their hypocrisy in Matthew 23. I do not want to be accused of that kind of love. Neither do I want to practice it.

I want my love to be "true" or "genuine" -- sincere. I was looking up the original meaning of the word, "sincere." You may have heard the story before, but the original meaning is "without wax." Often pottery makers, bricklayers, marble artisans, etc. would fill cracks in their creations with wax to cover the imperfections. The problem was that when the product was under heat, the wax would melt and the imperfections would be visible. Sometimes even the integrity of the piece would break down.

Is our love for others "without wax?" Are we living sincerely with everyone -- no hypocrisy? It's a question that takes some pondering. Who do I not sincerely love? And what is the evidence of my insincerity? Insincerity will eventually surface -- especially when the heat is turned up in the relationship.

I know that not everyone is easy to love. But I must surrender my biases and allow the love of Christ to fill me with so much love for others that I don't need wax. My love is truly genuine and sincere and complete.

Lord, fill me now. Let there be no room for insincerity in my heart. Teach me to love as You love and use me as Your vessel to love others. Amen.

A Lesson Revisited

By: Laura Hechel

I wrote this in my journal in April of 2008...two years ago...and was reminded of it just this morning through a chapter in A Woman After God's Own Heart that has a message about being your husband's helper. At our last meeting, we tossed around ideas for controlling our words and actions around our husband. I light-heartedly call this my "Five Step Program".

April 14, 2008
I am being called to be a Proverbs woman - and that means there is a strong call on my heart to "...speak with wisdom and faithful instruction." (Proverbs 31:26). I am brought back to James 1:26 - a verse that God often brought to me during the Fruit of the Spirit study (note for today: THANKS JEROLYN for leading that study!). "If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless." Worthless. Meaningless. Useless. A facade. A fake. A sham. In chapter 3, James speaks of taming the tongue. It occurred to me that I need to set my standard and devise a plan or I will never tame my tongue! As Paul says in 1 Corinthians 9:25-27 "Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it for a crown that will not last; but we do it for a crown that will last forever. Therefore, I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize." So HOW am I going to tame the tongue?

1. Memorize scripture - especially verses about speech and the tongue. (Ephesians 4:29 & Proverbs 13:3 are good beginnings)
2. PRAY - for forgiveness (1 John 1:9), for wisdom (James 1:5), and for others (Matthew 5:44). Peter talks about being clear-minded & self-controlled so I can pray (1 Peter 4:7)...so, in praying, I must be sure my words and actions are in line with the Spirit or my prayers may fall flat.
3. Distance myself from engaging in gossip & slander. Always. (Proverbs 14:1 & 26:20)
4. Consider my words and the TONE carefully before I speak...and speak only things that build others up. (1 Peter 4:11 & Ephesians 4:29) Side note: verses 25-32 of Ephesians chapter 4 is especially helpful in providing a tangible way for believers to train themselves to follow God's will. To simply resist the temptation to sin is not enough. We must do the exact opposite of our sin. If you lie, speak truth. If you steal, work for what you want. If you slander, speak only good things about others from now on.
5. Write letters to God when I am really upset, rather than slandering that person to someone else or ripping them apart in a verbal confrontation. Use the formula David often uses in the psalms...pour out my heart, my hurts, my trials and tribulations...then change focus and end the letter with God's truth, His faithfulness, and His instruction.

Fast forward to today. Honestly, there is a reason I was reminded of this entry today...for the last year, I have become lazy about controlling my tongue. I have reverted back to my obnoxious days, almost all of it now directed entirely at my husband. Today, I am reminded of two things I had lost sight of: I am forgiven, therefore, I must forgive others (Matthew 6:14-15). If I claim to love my husband, I should live it. "...Love is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs....It always protects..." (1 Corinthians 13:5&7).

Action vs. REaction

by Laura Hechel

Jerolyn asked me to share this experience, so here goes...

Almost four years ago, my family moved to Sacramento. Within the first week, I met a woman and her son in our apartment complex. She eagerly pursued a friendship with me and I was desperate for social interaction, so we became fast friends. I learned that she lived with her boyfriend, their son and her two dogs just a couple of buildings down from me. I learned she had been previously married, subsequently divorced and never wanted to be married again. I began to pray for a witnessing opportunity, for a window to share my faith with her. One day, we were sitting outside on the sidewalk while our children played and I mentioned I was in a Bible study at Capital Christian Center. Immediately, she responded with an excited, "I'm a Christian, too!! I go to Adventure Christian church in Roseville!" Confused, I wanted to address the hypocrisy of her current living situation and how the prevalent sin in her life was damaging her witness as a professing Christ-follower. But something in me told me that now was not the time. Every time we met up, I struggled with biting my tongue. As believers, we should hold each other accountable! It was Biblical for me to "restore her gently to the faith". But every time, something in me told me to wait. I prayed often about the situation...for God to convict her, for God to check my heart and remove all fear if it was standing in my way, for God to bring about yet another opportunity to speak with her about her beliefs...And it happened. One day, at the park, we got in an intense discussion over raising our children to know the Lord. The discussion ended amicably, but in disagreement. After some intense (read: obsessive) thought over lunch, I decided to call her to clarify my beliefs, which I felt I had not adequately articulated to her in our original discussion. I prayed before I called. She continued to disagree with me over the phone and lecture me on how I should raise my children. However, she did acknowledge that Christians can have different beliefs and still get along. To back her point, she stated that her pastor says things with which she doesn't agree, but she still attends his church and respects him as a person. I stopped the conversation right there. "Wait a second!" I said. "What kinds of things does your pastor say that you don't agree with? Because if he's saying stuff that's not scripturally based, you should NOT be there!" She responded by stating that her pastor believes that Jesus is God and that she KNOWS Jesus is NOT God because Jesus himself said he was the SON of God. At that moment, everything became clear to me because the Holy Spirit prompted me with, "THIS is the conversation I need you to have. GO FOR IT!" We spoke for over an hour about who Jesus was (and is). Jesus did indeed say he was the Son of God. He also stated he was the Son of Man. But his most "blasphemous" claims were that he WAS GOD, a concept that is difficult to grasp, but pivotal to the Christian faith. God gave me verse after verse after verse to reference to her. The conversation ended as friends...but in disagreement. We have remained friends and we eventually did have the discussion about her living situation. But I learned something very valuable that day: My REaction to visible circumstances can be scripturally-based...but that is radically different from having actions that are Holy Spirit-driven. If I had barreled forward to have the discussion about her living situation, I never would have had the opportunity to address the heart of her faith issue.

"Consecrate Yourselves"

Yesterday the Lord directed me to Joshua 3. This is the story of the Israelites crossing the Jordan. Verse 5 says, "Joshua told the people, "Consecrate yourselves, for tomorrow the Lord will do amazing things among you." Then here is what I had written in the margin several years ago, and it really spoke to me again yesterday.

"Be prepared. Heart tender and sensitive to God's leading. Keep building the relationship with the Lord so you know His voice when He leads."

We don't always understand what is going on in our life. Neither do we know what tomorrow will bring. But in the meantime, what we can do is consecrate ourselves. Set yourself aside for the sole purpose of obedience to His holy leading by being with Him in complete surrender.

Jerolyn